I am a firm believer in the saying that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and though I have not had any near-death experiences I’ve had my fair share of tough times. These experiences have been difficult but have made me 2x stronger and I have learned from each of them.
How I Became 2x Stronger
When I was 30 I found out I was pregnant. I had been trapped in a codependent, unhealthy relationship for the last 7 years and was fighting hard to get out of it but kept getting pulled back in. The rest of my life was good; I had a great job, awesome friends and had just moved into a lovely apartment I had designed and remodeled myself. I loved children and had been dreaming of a family for a while so I was beside myself with excitement and happiness about the news, no matter how unexpected. The reaction from the one we will refer to as the guy was not as positive but at first he seemed to be on board.
Single mom, worked full time and was starting a business on the side. Nothing could stop me.
After a couple of months things started getting pretty bad, and though I am lucky that the guy was never physically abusive he was doing everything in his power to destroy my self-confidence and my life. But he had not take into account that I had a powerful little angel growing inside of me and giving me strength. She opened up my eyes and gave me the resolve I needed to leave that relationship and demand something better for her and for myself. I will spare you the details of how bad things got once I finally decided to end it but there where restraining orders and legal battles that left me psychologically and financially drained. Even though I had the support and love of my family and my friends the fight to get my life back on track and leave the past behind me was one that I had to fight alone. I don’t know if it was the maternal instinct kicking in or maybe I was in survival mode, but the harder things got the more it strengthened me.
My little angel, my source of strength and courage. Photo taken in 2005.
In the middle of it all my little girl decided it was time to call in reinforcements and recruited the help of the second love of my life: my husband, my superhero. You can read all about how we met and how my 5-month-old baby pointed me onto the right path HERE.
I emerged from that experience like a phoenix from the ashes, 2x stronger and 2x more confident. The fire inside of me just burned stronger than ever. Now I had a little girl who depended on me and I was determined to be the best example and the best mother to her. I also had a man who loved me and believed in me.
A couple of years and one baby later we took our little family and left my country, my family, my friends, my business and my little apartment and moved thousands of miles, ready to start from scratch. Even though getting out of that relationship and moving away from everything I knew and loved (family, friends, language, culture) are the two hardest things I have ever done I wouldn’t change a thing. I bear the scars of what I have lived proudly because I know that I earned the amazing family I have today, I fought for it, I sacrificed all I had for it and I am 2x stronger and 100 times happier today and I know none of it would be as it is today without the experiences I had to go through to get here.
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Disclosure: This is part of a sponsored campaign with Latina Mom Bloggers and Angel Soft. However, all opinions expressed are my own.
67 comments
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Raye W
March 3, 2013 at 3:55 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I survived an extremely abusive childhood. It made me strong, resilient, empathetic, and determined to live a positive happy life!
Bravo to you for your strength and bravery!
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 6:04 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Raye, thanks so much for sharing this with me. I am so glad that you where able to turn the difficult situations in your past into something positive. I really appreciate your comment and your sincerity. Thank you.
GILDA CAMPOS
March 3, 2013 at 3:57 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Ser mamá, esposa, secretaria, chofer, administradora, hija, mamá, amiga, eso me ha hecho rendir el doble y ser doblemente fuerte en cada actividad que realizo diariamente y ante cualquier dificultad que se nos presente a las personas de mi entorno social, siempre saco fuerzas para estar presente y tender mi mano. Gracias por el sorteo.
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 6:05 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Gilda, gracias por tu comentario y por participar.
Jessie C.
March 3, 2013 at 5:40 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Traveled and lived in different countries has made me 2x stronger.
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 6:06 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It’s amazing how being exposed to different cultures, languages, etc. teaches us to adapt, evolve and become stronger. Thanks for stopping by Jessie.
Paula – Growing Up Bilingual recently posted…How Life’s Challenges Made Me 2x Stronger – Angel Soft Giveway
Mary Happymommy
March 3, 2013 at 1:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I had a really bad childhood (my parents have each been married 3 times and I underwent abuse from relatives) and I think as bad as that all was, it’s made me the person I am today. I really appreciate the life I have with my husband and children.
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 10:16 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It’s amazing how the difficult times in your life really make you appreciate and cherish the wonderful things you have today. Thanks so much for sharing this with us, I really appreciate it and it makes me feel better about sharing my story. I know that there are so many strong women like you out there who have gone through a lot but have not only survived but flourished!
Paula – Growing Up Bilingual recently posted…How Life’s Challenges Made Me 2x Stronger – Angel Soft Giveway
Jennifer Marie
March 3, 2013 at 2:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Seeing my son go through eye surgery at 10 months old.
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 3:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That must have been so hard and scary Jennifer! I hope he is well now.
Elena
March 3, 2013 at 4:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Moving to a different country made me stronger
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 6:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Thanks for sharing Elena! I didn’t realize how hard that could be, but moving to the US has been one of the hardest things I have done. When I did it I thought it was going to be so much easier!
Michelle Hudak
March 3, 2013 at 4:26 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Getting divorced with two small boys. My ex quit his job as soon as we separated and refused to pay child support. I ended up working two jobs for awhile to make ends meet. It made me realize I could make it on my own.
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 6:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
It’s amazing how you find what you are capable of when you have to fight for your kids! I greatly admire and respect moms who are raising their kiddos on their own.
Monica Platz
March 3, 2013 at 4:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
My breast cancer fight and survival for the past 7 years has made me 100x’s stronger!
Monica Platz recently posted…GIVEAWAY! Hot Pot Solar Cooker
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 5:45 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Monica thanks so much for sharing this with me. Stay strong and positive always and keep fighting, I am sure you will kick that cancer’s behind! Sending you love and positive energy.
Nikki
March 3, 2013 at 5:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I would have to say giving birth to a preemie! That was a really trying experience, but so worth it. You have a beautiful baby, by the way!
Nikki recently posted…Finding Happiness From Within #31daymarch
Melissa C
March 3, 2013 at 5:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Your post was very aspiring. I have been in your shoes, but the relationship was violent. it is such an accomplishment to break clean and make a new start.
Melissa C recently posted…Monograms Made With Love FREE Blogger Ops!
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 10:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Melissa thanks for your comment and I am really happy to know that you where able to leave that destructive and abusive relationship behind you and make a new start. You are very courageous!
Paula – Growing Up Bilingual recently posted…How Life’s Challenges Made Me 2x Stronger – Angel Soft Giveway
Jessica To
March 3, 2013 at 5:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Raising my son alone has made me stronger.
Nikki
March 3, 2013 at 5:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Also, I think you are really brave for sharing your story, and for getting out of a bad relationship like that. While you may not have been physically abused, I think mental abuse takes an even bigger toll. I’ve never believed that old adage about how sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you. Broken bones heal, broken minds from years of emotional abuse take much longer to repair. I’m glad that you were able to come through all of that stronger, and that it led you to a wonderful man!
Nikki recently posted…Finding Happiness From Within #31daymarch
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 5:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Thanks so much Nikki. I agree with you that mental abuse can be as bad or worst than physical abuse. And just like an old injury that hurts on a cold day psychological abuse leaves scars and you encounter situations or people that will remind you of those injuries as well.
Savannah miller
March 3, 2013 at 5:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
My kids
I had a rough childhood and for awhile it bothered me. Because I thought there was a flaw in me. Then my oldest was born and I remember looking at him and thinking nothing you could ever do would make me do the things to you that were done to me. It made me realize I wasn’t the one with a flaw, it was the ones who hurt me.
Your story is beautiful thank you for sharing it. It warmed my heart and I’m so happy you found happiness <3
Savannah miller recently posted…Wax and Soapy Water Review
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 3, 2013 at 5:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Thank you so much Savannah, really appreciate your kind words and really appreciate you sharing your story with me as well. It is amazing how people can hurt you and make you feel like there is something is wrong with you and they do it because there is something wrong with THEM! Understanding that does set you free and only then can you start the path to recovery, when you realize you are an amazing person who can accomplish anything.
Tabathia B
March 3, 2013 at 5:56 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Ending up in ICU after giving birth
April Wray
March 3, 2013 at 6:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Being a Mom to 4 teens has definitely made me stronger!
mamotts
March 3, 2013 at 6:42 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
divorce
Cindy Gordon
March 3, 2013 at 6:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Being a mom has made me stronger!
Wild Orchid
March 3, 2013 at 7:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Being in labor with my son for 26 hours made me 2x stronger.
Entered the Rafflecopter form as “Wild Orchid”
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Julia
March 3, 2013 at 8:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
My son having surgery when he was just a month old
Stacey Cockrell
March 3, 2013 at 9:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Becoming a police officer.
Kate
March 3, 2013 at 11:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Moving far away from my family and friends made me stronger!
susan glazer
March 4, 2013 at 12:47 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
i think all children, starting in kindergarten, should learn a 2nd language. that way, by the time they graduate from high school, they’ll know 3 languages.
Tara A.
March 4, 2013 at 1:15 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’m sorry that happened with the father of your first child, but it’s wonderful you found your way to your new love.
Thanks for sharing this personal story.
Tara A. recently posted…Bountiful Baskets Haul — 3/2/2013
Tina Bartunek
March 4, 2013 at 1:33 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
My mom dying when I was 6 years old has made me stronger.
Holly @ Woman Tribune
March 4, 2013 at 2:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Thank you for sharing such an intimate story of bravery, courage, and resilience. It is amazing that you were able to not just survive, but make yourself a better person because of what you went through. That is such a fantastic way to look at your past and everything you have accomplished.
Something that has made me two times stronger as a person is my childhood. For many years, I was severely abused and ultimately abandoned by my mother. I spent my adolescence, teen years, and young adult years with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and clinical depression. I still have severe depression and anxiety issues today, but years of therapy, my dad, and my now-fiance have been super strong pillars of support in my life.
Holly @ Woman Tribune recently posted…Sundays are for Sharing: ’90s Kids are Old, Holiday Bark Recipes, Sleep-Texting, and More!
Sadie
March 4, 2013 at 2:15 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Becoming a mom has made me 2x stronger.
Dollys
March 4, 2013 at 3:00 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Mi mama dice que todas tenemos historias que contar,,,lo mio es the never ending story,,, pero mi primer matrimonio duro 17 largos anos y al final se torno violento e inseguro para mis dos hijos,,, por eso tuve que cambiar de horizontes,,, gracias por compartir tu historia.
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Amanda Hoffman
March 4, 2013 at 3:45 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
giving birth
Throuthehaze
March 4, 2013 at 3:51 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
going through surgery
Melissa M
March 4, 2013 at 4:14 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Being a teen mom. I am 32 now and that def made me stronger
Coolchillmom
March 4, 2013 at 1:08 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Traveling solo made me stronger and confident
Erinn S
March 4, 2013 at 2:31 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Having all boys!
Erinn S recently posted…Give Your Face A Natural Face Lift At Home With Becker MD #Giveaway
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 4, 2013 at 2:33 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
LOL! I have a girl and a boy and my daughter is a lot more work, with girls there is so much drama!!
Janice Cooper
March 4, 2013 at 2:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I would say going through tough times financially and mentally (I was laid off for 2 yrs) and having to cut back on so many things even food, etc… has made me a stronger person.
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 4, 2013 at 2:56 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I feel your pain, when we moved to the US we picked the worst economic times and the worst place (an area with one of the highest foreclosure rates in the country) and I couldn’t find a job for more than 3 years until I decided to create a job for myself. We couldn’t even get any assistance because my daughter and I where not citizens yet (just hubby and my little man). It was really tough but that pushed me to create my blog and a translation and Hispanic marketing consulting business and now things are starting to look better.
Alisha Kostiuk
March 4, 2013 at 2:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Putting up with my evil mother in law for the past 12 years.
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 4, 2013 at 2:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I have one of those. I had to live with her for 3 years due to our economic situation. Just moved out in November and have never been happier!
Chasity Boatman
March 4, 2013 at 3:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
My natural birth ending in a bad, emergency C-section
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 4, 2013 at 4:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I can imagine how hard that must have been, I was lucky everything was ok and I was able to have both kids naturally. But you never know. My plans for breastfeeding on the other hand went down the drain with one kiddo having problems to latch on (turned out she has autism and motor problems so she didn’t have the strength for it) and the other one being allergic to milk protein (even the dairy I was eating affected him). By the time we found out what the problem was my milk was gone.
Barbara Montag
March 4, 2013 at 9:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Being a single parent sure made me stronger – thank you.
Lisa Brown
March 4, 2013 at 10:21 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Living with in-laws for years made me stronger, for sure
Paula - Growing Up Bilingual
March 4, 2013 at 10:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I feel your pain, just moved out of my inlaw’s house this November, we lived there for over 3 years. Not fun! LOL!
Tina M
March 4, 2013 at 10:23 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Moving to japan made me 2x stronger.
Kathleen Kennedy-Leon
March 5, 2013 at 12:58 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
hardships and adveristies have made 2X stronger
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Laura Jacobson
March 5, 2013 at 4:05 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I guess for me its been my two back surgeries. They didnt turn out quite the way they were supposed to, and will need one more. It has made me stronger …mentally! Weaker physically…but a much stronger person!
Ashley Hatten
March 5, 2013 at 6:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Being a mom and raising my kids
Vunda V
March 5, 2013 at 7:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
moving 8 states away from home
Vera K
March 5, 2013 at 9:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Raising 2 kids has made me 2x stronger.
sam dock
March 5, 2013 at 9:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Being the mom I wanted to be after my son’s very traumatic (for me) birth was the biggest challange of my life.
Erika P.
March 6, 2013 at 10:11 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Living with the challenges of having a chronic illness has made me stronger
D Schmidt
March 7, 2013 at 7:24 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Moving halfway across the world with a newborn baby and knowing nobody made me 2x stronger
Zoopa M
March 8, 2013 at 1:39 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Changing careers and going back to school to get a masters degree made me 2x’s stronger!
Widyaning Ambarwati
March 8, 2013 at 4:46 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
thank you for sharing your valuable experiences …
Carolsue
March 9, 2013 at 2:48 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
With my husband being gone on MIlitary Deployments so often, that has made me 2X stronger
soha molina
March 9, 2013 at 4:10 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Motherhood has made me stronger.
Janet W.
March 9, 2013 at 12:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Beating breast cancer 12 years ago made me 2x stronger!